I never miss.

Yes I don't. Watch this space.

Older and older

I think age is really catching up. Every fricking Monday, I will go play soccer with my Kenny, Andy & his ex colleagues. Every Monday, I will come away with an injury. Last week I sprained my back. Today I was chasing a ball with this fucker when suddenly I heard a *diak* sound. My right hamstring pulled up real bad. Now I have trouble walking. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!!!!

Wedding video

I'm attending a wedding dinner later. Happened to come by this video which is fucking cool. Wonder why we dun have this kinda shit in Singapore. That will make ppl less dread going for this kinda events

Toothache. Again.

I had a toothache again today. I dun like toothaches. Makes me think of my old tooth. I'd rather remember how good the tooth was than to think of how much pain the tooth caused me. So I hope I dun get toothaches again.

Check out this new phrase I coined out of nowhere: "My pillow is still warm"

Dun ask me what it means you stupid kid.

Body 19 Sucks

Big time.

The whole night was not too bad though...

Going out to swim now!

为何你还来拨动我心跳

I think it was two nights back. Out of the blue she (BCG) msged me over Msn. Didn't know how to react. We chatted anyway, for a while. Pretty awkward, but she's quite a PR lady lah so the tension was diffused after a while.

I guess I am alright with BCG, but some hurt still linger. There's no definite time frame for moving on, but I just cannot pretend nothing ever happened. Not when I put in my time, feelings and effort lah.

As I said, I am alright with BCG. Just need time to be friendly. I realised a trend: I will only start to forget the previous serious gf when I get into a new relationship. That's a bit fucked up, yes but that's the way I operate. BCG told me I used to mention my previous gf a lot during our conversations, but that's just my way of getting her out of my system. Alas, just when I completely got her out of my system and was very fully into BCG, we ended the r/s. Haha the irony.

I realise I should blog about BCG here, so that I can get her out of my system before anyone new comes along. There'll be less funny posts for now.

Keeping count 2

Swam for a while only cos no mood. Came home, listened to Drum and Bass and worked out. Tried to look for my skipping rope but couldn't find it. Did skipping WITHOUT a rope. Haha idiot! Was very siong too...

One should never start listening to Chinese songs when in a bad mood. Chinese songs are VERY VERY negative. Nabeh. You can see what the effects are by my sudden burst of Chinese MVs.

They are nice songs, but negative. haha.

I'm going for a show with a new friend later. Not exactly in the mood man... But what the heck, it's only a show, and she asked me out! hahaha the sian thing is I'll miss my Man Utd vs Newcastle!

Let's see what comes out of this...

如果你也听说

背叛

雨
不停落下来
花
怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人
欣赏悲哀

爱
只剩下无奈
我
一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间
永远都夹著空白
缺了一块
就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何Say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己
完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye
当作最後一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管
只要你能愉快

心
有一句感慨
我
还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前
替我再回头看看
那些片段
还在不在

Nice

两个人不等于我们

醒来只有我一个人
分不清黄昏或清晨
空气微冷有甚么在流失慢慢降温
一颗心往下沉
毕竟只是太短的梦
彼此终于退回陌生
我加上你两个人并不等于我们

你想我吗会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗如果诚实回答
可是爱也不是解答

空屋子里没有回声
但我记忆有你指纹
我加上你两个人却并不等于我们

你想我吗会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗如果诚实回答
可是爱也让人疲乏

你知道吗我心快要溶化
是这样吗压抑的会爆发
你爱我吗爱我就懂我吗

告诉我善意的谎话
告诉我善意的谎话
好让我相信我不是太傻

My walk home. - An open letter

I walked home today. Walked past the park/park connector opposite Pioneer Library. Was reminded of one scene - I piggy-backed you almost from one end of the park to the other, while laughing and joking away. It seems like years ago, but I realise it's within the past 7 months.

When you see each other almost everyday, times gets a bit warped. It almost feels like you've known each other for years. yet the calendar tells you it's only been a few months.

People say half a year is not too long, but half a year with that intensity feels like almost 2yrs.

I miss your company. Yet I know I should not.

We were more like friends. Should have stayed that way. Well everyone's a genius on hindsight.

There's one person out there who knows so much/the most about me for the last few months. My best friend for the last few months. We talked everyday, you shared all my secrets, joy, anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, anxiety. All that I ever felt for the past few months, I told you.

And now we are not talking.

It's not the moving on/not moving on kinda thing. I'm way past that. It's just the feeling of losing a friend.

It's been only 3 weeks plus, yet it feels like months.

I am not weak. I just need a place to let out my feelings. I am disappointed, yes. I am sad, yes. I am hateful, used to but now no. Well I chose to go after you in the beginning. I am just nursing my wounds now.

If you ever read this, know that I miss you, as a friend.
I got used to having someone to hang out with and smoke with in the middle of the night.
I got used to talking to you till I fall asleep.
I got used to hearing random vulgarities thrown at me out of nowhere. KLGSCB
I got used to hearing tales about babies.
Got used to listening to you sing on the phone.
Got used to struggling to finish the large quantities of food that your mum cooked and left for me.
Got used to saying IFLY. IFMY.
Got used to turning my head and not seeing you there. Only to find out you are beside me when I look down.
Got used to you saying "cool shit"
Got used to me not having a name to your family members. My nick is 大只佬.
Got used to hearing you talk about nothing but dramas and dramas and anime and anime.
Got used to asking BMLAM while you gave me the middle finger.

And so much more.

Well, when two person break up, each take a piece of the other away.

I hope you have fond memories.

No I will not read your blog anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. I know myself. I tend to hang on to things. I also do not want to read the spiteful things that you wrote. Our relationship was sweet while it lasted, and I want to only remember the good stuff.

Please keep my stuff, and not lend them to others. Especially all my books, and my basketball. One fine day, who knows when, let's meet up and exchange the stuff. I will safe keep the DVDs and CDs.

I will be a closet fan of LGF. Hope you guys do well.

Good that you really want to go study. Hope it happens.

When we broke up, there were so many nasty things to say. Now that the dust has settled, I regret the nice thank yous that I did not say.

No we cannot be together ever again. Ever. We might hang out and smoke and talk, but not now.

But I thank you for everything. Nice, bad, happy, sad. Everything.

Cos you were my closest friend for the last 6 months.

I wish you and your family happiness.

My birthday

Speaking of birthdays, my media player just played this song by 温岚 - 祝我生日快乐。
Wah this song is one of my favs man.

How did I spend my bday lasy yr? Seriously I forgot.

Was it memorable? I think you can tell.

What would you do if it's your gf/bf's bday?

Happy Birthday Chee Lip!

Chee Lip's got a birthday party! But I couldn't attend the party cos I was fucking tired. And I had to work the next day. Sorry Chee lip! Will buy you a drink the next time we go drink!

Oh yah fucker got a PSP for his bday present. I want one also! I will buy a PSP before the end of this month! Then we can all play some games together!

My tooth

I had this tooth.

It started about half a year ago. A hole started to grow in my tooth. Food would get stuck inside, and I would need to thoroughly rinse my mouth after every meal.

I knew there was a problem with the tooth, but chose to live with it. I did what I can to preserve my tooth. I really put in effort to rinse, brush, pick the tooth. Cos I loved my tooth a lot.

The hole got bigger. My tooth started to decay. I thought my tooth would be with me forever. Despite the hole. Despite me having to put in so much effort to clean it.

Around end of last year, my tooth started to hurt really bad. It hurt so much, I couldn't sleep. I had to take pain killers to get to sleep.

I could not believe it. Despite all the effort I put in to preserve my tooth, it was signalling that I needed to get rid of it. Or rather, my tooth was giving up. The pain was so unbearable I hated my tooth.

Xmas eve, I went to extract my tooth. Whole affair lasted less than 7 mins.

Well, the tooth is gone, but so are my pain. There's a hole between my teeth. Where the tooth used to be.

Oh well, I just have to carry on without the tooth. There are still so many teeth to look after.

Shall I get dentures? No lah. Let nature take its course. Who knows? I might grow a new tooth.

And since then, I have been fucking good to the rest of my teeth. They're still sitting snug and tight in my jaws. I think at least they appreciate my brushing and rinsing.

I am happy that the pain is not there anymore. One thing though, I would tongue the hole between my teeth sometimes and miss my tooth.

Sometimes.

That's the story of my tooth.

Keeping count

Yesterday (Sunday) I swam 40 laps. Today I swam another 40 laps from 745pm till 9pm. Swee. If nothing on tomorrow I will go jog at the stadium. Haha 19 again at 29!

My young , funny friend.

Last year I made a friend who's only 14. Yeah wtf, man. Know where I met him? Maplestory. WTF??? Let me tell you about him.

Think it was during one of the times when I was playing maple with someone that I bumped into this lil fella. He was a cleric, about 15 levels higher than me at that time. We chatted for a while and before long he started to tell me about his life. My impression was that he was pretty twisted, or rather he was going thru the phase where he acts twisted to gain attention from ppl ard him.

Well as it turns out, he was a pretty violent guy. He nearly stabbed his sister with a fruit knife, and he used something to slash his friend in school. And he was planning to use something sharp to stab another friend in school. WTF.

When he told me about this, I actually took time off to counsel him. haha. not the moral education teahcer kind of counselling, but doing it like a Dad to a son or Big bro to lil bro.

I told him: "Dude, Men don't use things like knives or sticks to fight. Pussies use that. If you really think you very macho, use your own bare hands. Challenge him to a fight or something, with bare hands. No weapons, you pussy"

Hahaha it sounds pretty funny to me now that I've typed it all out and looked back at it. But I was trying to get his violent streak down a little lah. That little boy has some family problems, and doesn't live with his parents. Pretty warped lah all in all.

So slowly I talked to him and told him the actual fight should just take place in the mind, or just by using words. The greatest triumph is to make a person yield to you without lifting a finger. I was thinking all these were beginning to sound like bull shit to him... then he told me he was going to join a church. hahaha wtf I actually encouraged him to. If it can change him for the better why not?

And so after a while I stopped playing maple but he got my msn. So we chatted every now and then, and I encouraged him to study hard. He started to call me his "daddy' and someone else his 'mummy'. And thus I had a virtual son all of a sudden.

What was funny was that when I went thru the latest breakup, this fella actually went to my facebook's wall and typed "You jerk, asshole". I was naturally pissed. I deleted it and then the next time I saw him online, I talked to him. "Guys should always side guys," I told him. "You'll understand when you grow up"

You know what he did? That little fella started to preach to me. Of love and forgiveness. Haha what the fuck? Anyway I appreciated his efforts lah, we had a good chat and I told him about 5 yrs from now when he's legal to drink I'll buy him a beer. If he's still cool that is.

And so in this moment of male-bonding, this little guy decided to intro girls to me. Know what he did? He went to a local online dating website which I've never heard of before, and signed me up. Used my msn pic, wrote my profile then set my password to "desperado". Haha fucking funny. Then he started to pimp the girls inside to me. "You like DD cups?" "like old or young?" "short or tall?" he sounded like some Pimp in Area G man... 100 points for enthusiasm. But makes me wonder how he normally spends his free time...

Well surprise, the website turns out to be quite interesting! Haha of course I went in to edit some details lah... that lil guy stated my profession as "Professional Sales Manager". Haha fucking funny. I wonder what it's like to be an "Amatuer Sales Manager" or "Semi-pro Sales manager".

Anyway, quite funny lah the website, you dun get much if you join for free, but I've actually made friends from it. WTF. I never really thought I would be using this kinda services to know ladies, now that I'm all grown up, but what the heck, it has a pretty high hit rate! Saw a few friends inside as well!

No I am not one to hide behind the monitor and be sneaky with things lah. I prefer to go out and meet people, in case any of you think I'm some sick fuck.

Will update more next time ba... need to sleep now tomorrow is Jog & Swim day!

I'm 50% happy.

How to be happy

After setting my new year resolution, I was trying to figure out ways to be happy. Coincidentally I received a junk email from my colleague titled: How to be happy!

It has all those shitty motherhood statements characteristic of shitty forwarded mails, but one line struck me: "Free your heart of hate"

Well hate sounds like a really extreme way to feel, now that I look at it. After all, if you used to love someone, why hate the person? Haha so I have decided not to harbour anymore hate towards anyone from now on.

Yeah not towards you. Anymore. Thanks for the memories, though.

Sounds sibeh zen leh... but oh well what the fuck, I just wanna be happy. I have also removed my previous entries of hate, so that I won't be reminded again.

Free your heart of hate. Yeah. Now go get some, Tiger!