Watering the plant

How do males bond? Drinking? Smoking? Talking about girls? Playing Playstation? Watch Soccer? Go Geylang together?( for supper you dirty minded twat)

All the above are suggested ones. You might have your own. Play chess, blow trumpet, climb trees, fuck spiders, watch porn, strip Barbie etc etc etc.

For the first time in my life, my buddies decided to give me a surprise. Male-bonding surprise.

I love surprises. Really. Unwrapping a present to see what’s inside, stripping a girl to see if her boobs are not a result of push up bra, tearing open my Kaka snacks to see the toys inside are just some of them. Haha. Seriously.

No, Yaohui and Kenny didn’t jump out from behind a pillar and surprise me. That’s so 80s. They did something I felt was a bit, that teeny weeny bit, girly.

It happened on Saturday, on the fourth day of the year of the LP. I had been on recall manning since last Tuesday, and so I can’t leave the country. Conveniently, Yaohui and Kenny decided to plan a camping+BBQ trip at Desaru, Malaysia.

The last time I went to Desaru was when I was a little boy. I went with my parents, together with uncles and aunties from my mum’s side. Though I was small (everywhere), I could vividly remember my parents telling me not to go too near the waves for they might wash me away. So I just sat by the beach where the waves broke and let the incoming water gently wash my legs. Every now and then there would be this bigger wave, which would wash me up to my little balls and leave a clump of sand in my very little, cute and sexy swimming trunks, right below my little jewels. My dad built a small and hideous looking sand castle, which was washed away within minutes. The gods must have been telling him not to influence his eldest and brightest son with his lack of artistic flair. Too bad, he already did. I never got more than ‘C’s for arts. That’s how I remembered Desaru.

It’s been decades since I visited that place, and now that I’m big enough to go with my friends, they plan it while I’m on standby? Genius. Must be bad karma for eating too much chicken breasts. The Pope of the roosters prayed to god to punish me for leaving them with breast-less hens. I can understand their pain. Chickens have no wonderbras.

Knowing that I couldn’t join them, I made my own plans with my secondary school mates. We were to play soccer in NTU in the afternoon, then go to Junping’s house to gamble the night away. It’s a yearly tradition.

With my focus on my still-tight hamstring, and the night of gambling ahead, I received a call from Yaohui. It sounded dreadful. Apparently he had a quarrel with Kenny over the Desaru trip, and Kenny left without him. I know Yaohui’s pattern one lah. My first guess is that he overslept or something. But what I was confused over was that he told me they quarreled. If Yaohui overslept, he should have just apologized, and knowing Kenny, he would have forgiven him. If they quarreled, that means Yaohui played punk and decided that it was right of him to be late and Kenny was lagi cheesed off by that and the argument got so bad that Kenny went ahead alone? Wouldn’t that spoil the trip if he went only with Xiaojia despite all the planning? Was Yaohui that assholic? Was Kenny that childish?

Well I must say I have seen a change in Yaohui since the incident with the butterfly. I began to fear the worst, thinking that he has returned to his trance that lasted 3 years. Also, I began to wonder if Kenny has been putting on his helmet for too long, killing his brain cells and knocking back his maturity by 10 years. Unlikely, but Yaohui sounded convincing.

Oh well, when guys quarrel, it’ll be for a short time lah. Meet up, clink glasses or bottles of alcohol together and you have best friends again. But the thing is that I have to play mediator. Since Kenny was already in Desaru, and Yaohui was left all alone, I had to meet him lah. I began to plan how to pacify him. First he was to tell me what he really feels, then to tell me the story that he thinks will be appropriate to tell me. There’s a difference, guys. Ever got into a quarrel and talked to someone? Most of the time your story will be biased, and it’s probably what you really feel. Then again to preserve your ethos and in order not to appear childish, you would tell what happened from an objective point of view. It’s stupid, really. If you want someone to listen, just say what you FEEL, and not what you think you should say. It defeats the purpose. The person can differentiate himself. So, with these thoughts in mind, I went to meet Yaohui, after my game of soccer.

On the way, I began to recall what I read from the book ‘the one minute apology’. What I’ve learnt from this book actually got me out of many sticky situations with my bosses and friends. The book taught me how to apologise effectively, addressing the person’s emotions and committing at the same time not to repeat the mistakes. Essentially, after using that apology, if that person still doesn’t forgive you, then he will be the fucker. Hahaha. Useful. And I intended to impart the skills to Yaohui, so that he can accept that he needs to be humble for the apology to work and then Kenny would need to be mature enough to accept the apology.

But, surprise, surprise.

Turns out that Kenny didn’t go to Desaru after all. There was no quarrel after all. Camp+BBQ has been changed to West Coast Park, so that I can be a part of it.

If I had nothing on that night, tears might have welled in my eyes. How can I not be touched? It was a gesture of deliberation on their part and designed to give me a pleasant surprise. But the setting was wrong. Hahah. Think Yaohui wasn’t too impressed with my reactions, but I was tasked by the RV gang to get a cake for a birthday celebration later in the night! What a dilemma. I have buddies waiting for me at West Coast Park, camp site and BBQ ready for my surprise; on the other hand, I had old friends waiting for me to get the cake and join in the gambling.
I opted for West Coast Park. First. With the intention of returning to Junping’s house at around 12.

Cool BBQ, fun company, tasty food, together with a fun game. It was enough for me to stay until 3am. I didn’t miss the gambling session on purpose. Just that somehow I felt more wanted and appreciated at West Coast than at Chua Chu Kang. I’m only human.

Male bonding for me is at an all time low in the RV camp. I had been left out by them more often than not. I’ve always attended the gatherings that the RV gang organized. They were my best friends for a long time. But sadly the fire has died. I treasure the memories, I tried to rekindle the dying ambers. I tried to arrange soccer sessions, KTV sessions and late night suppers. True I had no car, and all of them do, but I was prepared to pay mid-night cab fares just to immerse myself in the memories of yester-years. Nothing materialized. The brotherhood is fading for me. I realized that during the BBQ. To me I had been an integral part of the group for the longest time, and I wonder when it changed. Looking back, it was probably during my stint in the MLM firm. But I have no regrets. I learnt more in that time about life than any period of my life. Maybe it’s metabolism at work.
Deep down, I sincerely hope I can keep this bunch of friends. They are my last reminders of my early teenage life. Think I’ll keep trying.

Oh fuck what was I talking about? Suddenly I felt very emotional lah. We’ve been friends for close to 13 years leh. Jackson was the first friend I knew in RV, on 2/1/92. Cool huh.

Anyway, I feel v lucky to have buddies in Yaohui and Kenny. Hahaha… Kenny was my Vice-Captain back in SAJC and Yaohui was the Vice-Vice-Vice Captain, after Benny.
Aiyah suddenly my mind is blank leh. Oh there’s one thing I need to remind my buddies. It’s during this time, which coincidentally we’re pretty free, that so much male bonding can be done. Do remember that eventually people enter different sectors of the work force. Different sectors mean different working hours. Efforts will need to be put in for bonding sessions. Although people say best friends will remain best friends even though they don’t meet in years, I say that’s bullshit. That’s for the time when there’s no internet. Weeks feel like months with the speed of communication now. Water the plant and it will grow.

Yah. And you fuckers still owe me a lava lamp. Since 2002.

Think I’m tired. Will blog more tomorrow.

Sour cream. Think Pringles.

The past few days have been so happening that I have difficulty recollecting them. If only someone can come up with a machine that automatically blogs my thoughts. Then again, that blog might go something like this:
Met up with Yaohui and Kenny today to go shopping for their V day gifts. I want to have sex. Met at Lido Macs at 1030 in the morning would you believe it and we had breakfast. Sex before breakfast is good. Saw these two fucking tall Pakistanis and they were scary. Can they even have sex? Wow check out that girl. Nice legs. Yummy. Those two guys were like 2.85m tall and I think they can wrap their hands around my face. Think I don’t care I just wanna have sex. Hmm… maybe I should go home and surf the net for the tallest people in the world. Maybe surf some porn too. Sex.
I don’t think you get it. The average male thinks about sex once every 8 minutes. For me it’s 8 seconds. Actually my thoughts are more graphic than these. I can elaborate. But then again, I realized I actually have readers other than Kenny and Yaohui and they are of the fairer gender, with possibly less tolerance for vivid descriptions of sex and stuff. And considering that my sis who is 15 years old will eventually figure out the address to this blog, I’d better curb my descriptive instincts and keep it at the PG rating. But then again, my jokes about the stupid kid, asking how to pronounce P-E-N-I-S, has already done enough harm. Oh well… fuck it. Sis, big Bro is actually a very nice guy ok? I don’t surf porn, I don’t have sex, I only wank. All guys do. Yah. That’s why the mouse sometimes feels funny. I remove the mouse ball and do my stuff. Nice guy right?

Oh fuck. You better realize that I’m a funny guy and I talk nonsense.

Anyway, I will continue from my earlier post. Where was I? Oh. Fell asleep on Yaohui’s bed for a while. Then we went to the KTV at Shenton Way, my favourite place for singing. You know, ever since I learnt how to sing without caring whether I sound ok, I have been bringing girls to go sing with me. I realized it’s one of my ways of showing the sensitive side of me. Sing love songs to the girl. How cheesy. How old school. But they loved it. Hahahahhaha. It’s also my part of my screening procedure lah. I’ve like spent 5.5 years of my live with two girls who can’t really sing and dance and frankly I would love to have a gf who can sing me songs. No need to have Kit Chan’s voice, just not tone deaf lah. (if you’re one of the girls, no offence ah, I really didn’t foresee that you’ll be reading my blog.) On that note, I must say I really envy Yaohui and Kenny, cos Ailing and Xiaojia have amazing voices. Ailing has a very dreamy voice that can tame a raging lion. Think of the song ‘Somewhere out there’. Yup she has that kind of voice. Not kiddish lah you idiot. Dreamy. She can sing that song by Penny Dai very well indeed. As for Xiaojia, she should go and join some talent time or something. She can really hit the very high notes and with strength as well. Powerful voice sia. She sang an assortment of songs by an assortment of singers, and I must say she never failed to impress. And she beat me at Jenga one on one.

Anyway, when was the last time you saw this word 'assortment'? For me it's on a biscuit tin. Same?

Shit I drifted again. Oh we went to the Ktv and it’s damned fun. We belted out song after song with flawless inaccuracy, especially at the high notes, which needed clamping of one’s balls with pliers. O But our (Kenny, Yaohui and me) rendition of Ricky Martin’s ‘She Bangs’ would have girls from other rooms throwing their G-strings and thongs at us if not for the presence of the two girlfriends of my buddies. Pesky, them. Anyway, the room was unusually hot. Fucking hot, in fact. I thought I was the only one, but Xiaojia agreed that it was hot too. Heng ah. Either that or she’s as fat as me. Haha. Can’t be the latter lah.

But it was that session which made me discover one thing. Something that I’ve feared all my life. Something we laughed about when it was depicted on TV. Something…

I have BO.

No lah it’s not the chronic kind. Not like that Jeanette Aw in that 9 o’clock show. But that night, I could secretly smell that dreaded sour cream flavour emanating from within my armpits. Yucks. Intuitively, I smoked. Chain-smoked, in fact, to cover up the pungent, offensive tang that threatened to spoil the night for everyone within that little melodious room. For once, I can really empathise with the people with BO, and why they are so self-conscious. It’s one thing to stink after sports, but it’s another if you’re dressed up and not suitably attired to stink. Yes, they have attires to stink in legally. I call it basketball shorts and jerseys.

Anyway, it killed the mood for me a little bit, and the fuck thing is that I was caught in a dilemma. Picture this. The seats in the room are in a U-shape, and initially I was sitting at the end of the U. But that position was directly under that cheebye spotlight which I swear could give me a tan in that 4 hours. So I shifted to the center of the U, IN BETWEEN the two couples. Wah kao. In that position, though cooler, I would risk BOTH the sets of couples catching a whiff of my manly aroma. But it stopped me from perspiring like a pig after sex. I decided that the less I perspire the less I will stink, so I sat in the middle of the U. Now you understand right, Kenny and Yaohui?

Self defence. I normally don’t stink. I have my fair share of spraying deodorants and keeping my underarms shaved and scrubbed. But in accordance with the new year superstitions, I did not shave, even when I knew that Amazon needed a trim. That night, sitting in the center of the U, in between songs by Jay Chow and Andy Lau, I decided to shave the dungeons of horrible death the minute I reached home. Yaohui, now you will understand why I wanted the car windows to be winded down when you were giving me a lift to Clementi. Yah. Smelly.

At least I have the courtesy. Just yesterday I was in the train and there was this cheebye Indian fella beside me. HE IS FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKING smelly. And he has the right mind to hold on the horizontal bar too. Terrorist, I call him. Why can’t they just go shave? I’m not racist lah. Just that he happened to be an Indian. Some Indian girls are damn hot. Out of point.

Which leads me to a few burning questions. Why is it that only armpit smells? Is it because the cheebye adults tickle us too much in the armpits when we're young? Can I safely saw that only places that people touch a lot have hair? Adults used to pat our heads when we were little, so we have hair on our heads? You wanked too much as a teenager, so you have hair down there? Muthu was naughty as a boy, and his parents pulled his ears a lot. Is that why he has ear-hair?

Lucky no one touched my butt.

Ok this is it for the third day of the Lunar New Year, the year of the LP.

Anyway, let me give you a bit more information than you should know. I shaved my armpits today. Clean. Hairless. Virginal. Smooth like a baby’s butt. Mmmmmm…

Sleepy, happy, and non-logical

Gong Xi Fa Cai!! What a new year! It’s the year of the LP! For Goats out there, this year is supposedly frigging bad for us. The horoscopes say so. Bad in Love, Career, Finances, Health and almost every other thing imaginable. My say is, Balls to you Mr Horoscope, hope you sit on a thumbtack and get pierced at the space between your balls and anus. Ouch. Yeah.

Anyway, I couldn’t go back to Malaysia to visit my cousins like yester-years as I’m on recall manning. I actually will like to go visit them and develop a stronger bond cos I feel after all we grew up playing together and it should carry on. It’s pretty shitty also because I will miss the Camp and BBQ that YH and KP will have later today at Desaru. Sigh.

Spent new year’s eve with YH, KP, Herbs, Benny and Quack. It’s the first time we met up together in god knows how long. We used to hang out together and I can still remember YX saying that the group as a whole is quite a head turner when we’re walking together as we’re all pretty tall and yandao. Ok, probably not me, but it’s a group effect. You get it? No? I won’t give you tuition you stupid kid. Anyway, we went for a KTV session and it was pretty amazing. Individually, we have our unique vocal ranges, but when we sing, dance and shout as a group, we beat F4, 5566 and Westlife anyday man. I mean we have a fusion of Tao Zhe and Jay in KP, Cowboy Dick in Quack, Xiao Gang in Benny, Wang Jie in Yaohui, Winnie the pooh in Herbs and Shaggy in me. All of us combined will take the shine out of the MTV awards, man. No wonder so many girls came to our door for a quick look. Must be curious how they missed the news that so many superstars are in town. Haha.

Aiyah what’s past has past, and seriously I enjoyed myself so much today that I have not many recollections of that day, so I shall talk about today. Got woken up by KP at 1146am. He has this thing about waking me up. Just two mornings ago I was having a potential wet dream with the setting in Velvet and 2 fucking sexy chio-bus in the plot when he called me on my handphone. For 15 mins non-stop. Imagine you’re in Velvet, with super nice music playing, the chio-bus dressed in those flowy and soft dresses that end about 15cms above their knees and shaking their booties at the same time. Then suddenly you get this vibrating sound that is not with the beat of the music at all. Drrrrr.. pause….drrr… pause…drrrrrrr.. pause.. drrr… pause… drrr… pause… drr.. pause….
Irritating? Well I had 15 mins of that. The girls were starting to rubba against me when that sound started. They stopped dancing and asked me if I could make the noise go away. Well I looked at the DJ and he wasn’t the culprit. I looked across the table to the other less macho guys eyeing my chio-bus and they weren’t the ones as well. The girls were getting frustrated. I asked the waiter, he was blur like hell. Then suddenly I saw this phone lying on the table, vibrating like mad. I walked angrily to the table, and picked the phone up.
That’s when I opened my eyes. Chee beh. The dream was gone, so were my sexbombs. All I was left with was a vibrating phone with the name Kenny on the screen. In the background, my house phone was ringing also. From YH. Lan Lan, they are my best buddies and I have to answer their call. KP gave me no chance to go back to my dream in Velvet. I had 20 mins to prepare and then meet them at Orchard for MacDonalds breakfast. How fucking gay.
What KP (from now on I shall call him Kenny, not his real name) did today was to tell me that he will reach my house in half an hour, with his gf on tow. Imagine. My house had been fucking messy due to not having my mum around as she was in Malaysia. Underwear, shorts, shirts, cups, FHM magazines and used tissues (no link, seriously) were strewn all around. I couldn’t let them see my house like this lah. So I had to wake up and do an area-cleaning. I washed my clothes, mopped the floor, brushed my teeth( normally I don’t), threw out the rubbish, and did much more. Alone as well, as my bro went for his version of Meet the Fockers. 45 mins of intense housekeeping later, my house was clean as new, clothes washed and hung, tissues inspected and burned, and my back sore. Felt fucking satisfied nonetheless. I was starting to wonder why Kenny hasn’t reached when I received an sms. He told me he will only reach at 2pm. What he did was to wake me up. I hope he grows a nipple on his face.

So at 2pm Kenny arrived, with Enedfea his gf on tow. Played Burn-out for a while and then YH( Yaohui, not his real name) reached also. Yaohui had his recently-renewed love of his life Ailing (not her real name) on tow as well. Aiyah I think my place is boring lah. Other than playstation, there’s nothing much to do. Anyways after a while we were off to Quack’s.
Kenny has this thing about my shirt. He says it looks like a bangala’s outfit. I shall plead for sympathy points here. It’s my ONLY new shirt for the new year. My colleague Stephen (not his real name) swindled me of $400 bucks and I was pretty dry to go shopping. My mum bought me that shirt. I know it’s pretty ugly but I had to make her happy lah. If you buy a shirt for your kid when you’re old, you’ll want them to say it’s nice and wear it. So I did. I may look like a bangala but I have a heart of gold. =)
I told Quack I would reach his house at 345pm. And that bloody duck was sleeping when we reached. Totally bo chap. I have to admit I was slightly pissed. I began to wonder if it’s my problem, cos I would want to be up and fresh when I have visitors. Then again, I shouldn’t be very concerned. Everyone’s unique.
After the non-event at Quack’s place, we headed over to Kenny’s. I’ve always liked visiting Kenny’s place. It looks like what I want for my dream home. Super nice decorations yet exuding the cosy feel to it at the same time. Also because his parents are very friendly and nice. Then there’s something new every time. This time that something new was the dish with the vegge and the biscuity cup that Kenny’s mum prepared. I literally stuffed my face with it. Had at least 10 of it, and was craving for more. I only stopped when I began to imagine the faces on Kenny’s parents when they see that I finished all the biscuity cups. Better not spoil my good-boy image. We played Ban-lat also, with Quack being the banker. Midway through playing there was this incident about the perceived non-logic about the way I ‘cut’ the cards by Quack. Well it got me pretty pissed off, firstly cos Quack couldn’t comprehend what I was trying to do, and then cos he attacked me by talking in a more than inappropriate/unfriendly way about my logic. Over a game that costs 1 dollar per round. What can I say? He’s my friend. I’m just glad I didn’t have to give him tuition. New rule: Challenge the idea, not the person.
Third stop, Yaohui’s. The last time I saw Yaohui’s parents were during the 2002 World Cup, where they ordered City Satay for us while we watched soccer, which I felt was very cool. Yaohui and I had many chats about his parents, and I knew they were a couple of very cool Ah-lian and Ah-beng during their younger years. It’s good to see them again after so long. I have this thing about chatting with friends’ parents. I feel that it’s very important to have sincere chats with them if I get the chance. First of all, it would be good for friend’s parents to know you so that they know what kind of a person their children are hanging around with, and also you can learn from them in some ways. People don’t just grow old. They have many life experiences to be shared and learnt from.
If I remember correctly, Kenny’s dad is in the shipping line, used to drive a BMW coupe and can’t speak Mandarin (but he spoke good English and Hokkien). Likes to play mahjong, likes fish and Janet Jackson. Yaohui’s dad was a very respected leader among his friends when he was younger. My impression of him is that he is like a Guan Yu. Yaohui’s mum doesn’t gamble (she told me). Quack’s dad is a retired Major from the army, and used to be in AIA for a while. Not too bad huh? Correct me if I’m wrong ah…
Where was I? Oh yah at Yaohui’s. By the time we got there, I was getting tired. Got very sleepy. Kenny played with Yaohui’s transformer toy for a while, and I was getting a bit left out. I tried to be interested in the toy for a while, but I discovered that not getting the chance to play with Transformer toys when I was young has effects on me. I have this phobia of breaking the toys and causing anguish to my friends. It has happened to me before, when I was in primary school. I shall talk about this later. Anyway because I was afraid of breaking the toy, I grew pretty sick of it after a while. I then had a short chat with Yaohui’s mum, went for dinner with Yaohui and then slept on his bed for 5 mins.

Oh man, this post has almost 2000 words, so I shall have to start a new one. Let me go sleep first. Will continue when I wake up.

Tuition

I was reading KP’s blog and was having a good laugh. Apparently he has a problem with his tuition kid on the pronunciation of the word ‘penis’. I think this is also a reason why I never gave tuition. I can’t teach with love. I like kids but I don’t like stupid kids. I don’t know what it was like to be a stupid kid, so it’s hard for me to understand why some kids are stupid. Maybe it’s just that I’m a bit impatient when it comes to teaching. So, YH, I think it’ll be hard for me to be a teacher. PE maybe, but if it’s other subjects I can’t make it. And I tend to spew expletives like they’re a part of the Queen’s English. Also, I think it’ll be better for the future of Singapore if I do not give tuition.

Just imagine.

Stupid kid: Teacher, how do we pronounce this? P-E-N-I-S

Me: Hmmm… Pear-nis.

Stupid boy: But my teacher Miss Soh in school pronounce it as Pee-nus.

Me: What does she know? She doesn’t have one what.

Stupid kid: ?? Doesn’t have what?

Me (Patiently): See ah boy, Guys have Pear-nises and Girls have chee byes. So your
teacher Miss Soh doesn’t have a pear-nis. So she doesn’t know how to
pronounce. Got it?

Stupid Kid: What’s a chee bye?


OR

Stupid kid: Teacher, how do we pronounce this? P-E-N-I-S

Me: Hmmm… Pear-nis.

Stupid boy: But my teacher Miss Soh in school pronounce it as Pee-nus.

Me: I teach you another name for it want? I call it Lan-pa.

Stupid boy: eeeeee….You say bad word!

Me: Nonono boy, some things you have to learn while growing up. Things that your
parents don’t teach but you have to learn. It’s all general knowledge.

Stupid boy: Ok, since you say first, I tell you a secret, my friends say his bird bird is a
‘cock’. But I thought cock is a rooster?

Me: Yes it is! Very good! You’re getting it! Pear-nis =Cock=Rooster=Lan-pa!

Stupid Boy on CNY: Gong Xi Fa Cai Grandpa! May you strike 4D in the year of the Lan-pa!

Nadia Comaneci

No, I don’t find little girls in body hugging gymnastic outfits stimulating, nor am I secretly in love with this girl. Anyway she should be 43 years old now. Just that I respect her for her flexibility. She is the first ever human to get a perfect 10 for gymnastics. Why the sudden interest in gymnastics? Are you going to be a gymnast, Bigbang?

Nearly.

I’m fucking laughing my head off while I’m typing this. My laugh is both from the humour I see in this and from the pain I’m experiencing now. It’s those kind of pain that you can’t cry about, but just keep laughing cos it’s so bloody painful and you don’t know how to react. So just let me laugh first. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Well last Saturday I decided to be disciplined and carry on with my quest to be an ‘after’ model. Seeing that the sun was bloody good, I went for a swim at 12 secretly. Didn’t want to jio YH cos first of all I knew he bueh on and also to let me have more training than him so I can have a one up over him. Sneaky.
I swam 40 laps. My definition of one lap is 50m. So it totaled 2km. Not too bad, considering I paced myself to finish it within 45 mins. Until I met my friend from OCS… I got this thing about trying to swim faster than other people in the pool over 10 laps. But my friend Chee Wee was good man! He cut me up jia lat jia lat over 10 laps. The thing was, I didn’t know it was him at first and tried v hard to keep up with him but just couldn’t. Just when I was about to give up chasing after him, he swam butterfly stroke! Wah it was damn cool can… anyways, I was resting at the side after my swim and then I realized it was him. Chee Wee and I shared some tough times together during JCC (jungle confidence course), which I will never forget. From then I knew he will be a good friend to have, but sadly there was no chance to develop the friendship. We had a short chat and I was off. Think I will blog about the story between him, me and JCC another time.

So where’s the part about gymnastics?

Relak lah. Just getting to it. After the swim I went for my weekly soccer session with Andy Cheong (AC) and his friends at NUS. Asked Herbs and Quack along as well. The soccer was normal lah. Cos the team that I was in had a super good defender, I played striker. Wah I felt like Ruud van Nistlerooy man. All the long balls were pumped towards me for me to trap and start the attack, and we played well as a whole. In fact, we played great. Since it was a one goal out basis, we stayed and played for v long, more than one hour to be exact. There was this team with young punks all aged 18, and they were bloody physical and going all out for the win. Bo bian, they already lost once to us and they were unhappy with themselves for doing so. Then it happened. The super kilat defender pumped a long ball to me, and the ball was bouncing at around chest height to my left. Naturally I tried to bring it down with my right foot, and so it was quite a stretch. I could manage the stretch, but couldn’t manage what was to come. A sneaky little bastard came up from behind me and challenged for the ball while I was stretching. How did he do it? He kicked my already stretched right foot from below, stretching it even further.
Hard to visualize? Try this. Stop holding the mouse with your right hand for a while. Rest the tip of your right index finger on the table. Then stretch your right middle finger as high up as you can while keeping the right index finger on the table. Done? Now, very quickly, with your left index finger, snap your right middle finger in an upward motion.

Sorry if I injured your middle finger. But you get the point right?

In that instant where that little bastard kicked my, my whole sex life flashed before my eyes. All the hot and heavy action with pretty young things, beautiful ladies and the odd old aunty (nah) were replayed in my mind for that nanosecond. Then I realized, the injury wasn’t on my crown jewels. Hahaha. I just pulled my hamstring very badly, that’s all. Phew. I think I’m paranoid.
But I couldn’t walk properly after that lah. Can’t even sit properly. Think I will be out for a week or two. Just got an MC from the doctor’s also… Happy New Year to me.

Dictionary.com

Hahahaha! Yay! KP has lost his virginity! And it’s YH who cajoled him into doing it! www.vanwacoire.blogspot.com

Wow… cajoled… it means: “influence or urge by gentle urging, caressing, or flattering”

How apt.

It’s also the Word of the day on September 8, 2001!

More coming up!