My walk home. - An open letter

I walked home today. Walked past the park/park connector opposite Pioneer Library. Was reminded of one scene - I piggy-backed you almost from one end of the park to the other, while laughing and joking away. It seems like years ago, but I realise it's within the past 7 months.

When you see each other almost everyday, times gets a bit warped. It almost feels like you've known each other for years. yet the calendar tells you it's only been a few months.

People say half a year is not too long, but half a year with that intensity feels like almost 2yrs.

I miss your company. Yet I know I should not.

We were more like friends. Should have stayed that way. Well everyone's a genius on hindsight.

There's one person out there who knows so much/the most about me for the last few months. My best friend for the last few months. We talked everyday, you shared all my secrets, joy, anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, anxiety. All that I ever felt for the past few months, I told you.

And now we are not talking.

It's not the moving on/not moving on kinda thing. I'm way past that. It's just the feeling of losing a friend.

It's been only 3 weeks plus, yet it feels like months.

I am not weak. I just need a place to let out my feelings. I am disappointed, yes. I am sad, yes. I am hateful, used to but now no. Well I chose to go after you in the beginning. I am just nursing my wounds now.

If you ever read this, know that I miss you, as a friend.
I got used to having someone to hang out with and smoke with in the middle of the night.
I got used to talking to you till I fall asleep.
I got used to hearing random vulgarities thrown at me out of nowhere. KLGSCB
I got used to hearing tales about babies.
Got used to listening to you sing on the phone.
Got used to struggling to finish the large quantities of food that your mum cooked and left for me.
Got used to saying IFLY. IFMY.
Got used to turning my head and not seeing you there. Only to find out you are beside me when I look down.
Got used to you saying "cool shit"
Got used to me not having a name to your family members. My nick is 大只佬.
Got used to hearing you talk about nothing but dramas and dramas and anime and anime.
Got used to asking BMLAM while you gave me the middle finger.

And so much more.

Well, when two person break up, each take a piece of the other away.

I hope you have fond memories.

No I will not read your blog anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. I know myself. I tend to hang on to things. I also do not want to read the spiteful things that you wrote. Our relationship was sweet while it lasted, and I want to only remember the good stuff.

Please keep my stuff, and not lend them to others. Especially all my books, and my basketball. One fine day, who knows when, let's meet up and exchange the stuff. I will safe keep the DVDs and CDs.

I will be a closet fan of LGF. Hope you guys do well.

Good that you really want to go study. Hope it happens.

When we broke up, there were so many nasty things to say. Now that the dust has settled, I regret the nice thank yous that I did not say.

No we cannot be together ever again. Ever. We might hang out and smoke and talk, but not now.

But I thank you for everything. Nice, bad, happy, sad. Everything.

Cos you were my closest friend for the last 6 months.

I wish you and your family happiness.