Tuition

I was reading KP’s blog and was having a good laugh. Apparently he has a problem with his tuition kid on the pronunciation of the word ‘penis’. I think this is also a reason why I never gave tuition. I can’t teach with love. I like kids but I don’t like stupid kids. I don’t know what it was like to be a stupid kid, so it’s hard for me to understand why some kids are stupid. Maybe it’s just that I’m a bit impatient when it comes to teaching. So, YH, I think it’ll be hard for me to be a teacher. PE maybe, but if it’s other subjects I can’t make it. And I tend to spew expletives like they’re a part of the Queen’s English. Also, I think it’ll be better for the future of Singapore if I do not give tuition.

Just imagine.

Stupid kid: Teacher, how do we pronounce this? P-E-N-I-S

Me: Hmmm… Pear-nis.

Stupid boy: But my teacher Miss Soh in school pronounce it as Pee-nus.

Me: What does she know? She doesn’t have one what.

Stupid kid: ?? Doesn’t have what?

Me (Patiently): See ah boy, Guys have Pear-nises and Girls have chee byes. So your
teacher Miss Soh doesn’t have a pear-nis. So she doesn’t know how to
pronounce. Got it?

Stupid Kid: What’s a chee bye?


OR

Stupid kid: Teacher, how do we pronounce this? P-E-N-I-S

Me: Hmmm… Pear-nis.

Stupid boy: But my teacher Miss Soh in school pronounce it as Pee-nus.

Me: I teach you another name for it want? I call it Lan-pa.

Stupid boy: eeeeee….You say bad word!

Me: Nonono boy, some things you have to learn while growing up. Things that your
parents don’t teach but you have to learn. It’s all general knowledge.

Stupid boy: Ok, since you say first, I tell you a secret, my friends say his bird bird is a
‘cock’. But I thought cock is a rooster?

Me: Yes it is! Very good! You’re getting it! Pear-nis =Cock=Rooster=Lan-pa!

Stupid Boy on CNY: Gong Xi Fa Cai Grandpa! May you strike 4D in the year of the Lan-pa!