Give up your seat...

A few days back, my bro and I were walking home from Boon Lay MRT. We do it as a form of bonding lah.. walk, smoke, talk. And I see this very old lady carrying a big red plastic bag, with a walking stick in the other hand. She was moving real slowly. With difficulty as well.

What would you do if you were me?
(a) offer help.
(b) act blur and walk past her quickly, hoping she wouldn't ask you for help.
(c) walk backwards, away from her. And when you reach a safe distance, take a cab home. You are scared of old women.

If you chose (b), you are a bad lover. WTF? Go think about it.

No lah... Most of us are brought up in a fine country where we have been drilled since young to give up seats to the elderly, help the elderly and care for them. Though I can't agree with most of the methods of teaching, this one I remember the most:

" In an old village far far away... Grandpa is old. Papa hates Grandpa cos he is a liability. Old, not working, only knows how to eat, sleep and shit all over himself. Papa begins to weave bamboo basket. Boy-boy asks Papa what the basket is for. Papa said it is to store Grandpa inside while he drags him into the forest to abandon to be eaten by tigers. Boy-boy asks Papa why abandon Grandpa. Papa says Grandpa useless and yada yada. Papa goes into forest with Grandpa, comes back without him. Papa sees Boy-boy weaving bamboo basket..."

Moral of the story:
Take care of the old and don't fucking show that you're an ingrateful bastard in front of your kids. Don't do fucked up things now if you want to be treated well in the future.

Er... how does it fit? I don't know also. Just felt like telling that story.

Anyway, I chose to offer help to the old lady. I stopped beside her, with my bro, and asked

"Auntie, ai4 wa4 dao4 ka1 chiu4 mai3?" (Auntie, need me to help?)

You know what she said?

"Mai lah mai lah! See gin nah! Ai gia wa mi gia zao!" (Wanna take my things run!)

And she was shouting.

Fucking chee bye.

After a long hard day at work, there I was, in shirt and pants, tired from work, but offering to carry that big red plastic bag of don't-know-simi-lan for an old lady, and I had to kanna fuck?

What would you do? Would you:

(a) Beat her up.
(b) Take her things and run. Prove her right.
(c) Fuck her back.

If you chose any of the above, don't give birth to sons. They will weave baskets.

Well being the gentleman that I am, I smiled sweetly at her and walked away.
Wah... imagine my rage. Do I really look like a bad guy?
Yes I do ,I hear you say (you bleeding nipple), but then again I was in shirt and pants leh?

Then I thought of something. It's part of my philosophy towards life. Let me teach you guys one thing about inter-personal skills.

When someone does something that upsets you, think of a reason why he/she did it. Then give them an excuse for behaving that way.

This way, you'll almost never get angry with people. And people will love you.

Muack.

So I thought of that old lady. Some sonofabitch must have took off with her big red plastic bag full of don't-know-simi-lan before. That's why she behaved that way. Once bitten twice shy mah.

Which led me to think: which fucker could have done something like that?

I thought for days and nights. Missed my meals. Stopped surfing porn. Stopped wanking. Stopped going to work. I thought and thought...

Eureka!

A Bangla.

Only a bangla could have done such a thing.

Why? Aiyah stop asking why lah you stupid kid.

Ever seen a bangla give up a seat?

Think about it.